Metallic Rose
by BloodyIris16
Summary: Ed is sent back to Shambala shortly after his wife dies giving birth to their daughter. Caught between old love and regret will he ever learn to love again and let his heart heal? Or will he be forever reminded of the woman he lost?
1. Chapter One:Home

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of it's characters what so ever.If I did I would make some serious changes with the couples...I'm not a big fan of Ed and Winry.It's either Ed and Rose or Ed and Noah.Noah is a gypsy that comes out in the FMA movie: Conqueror of Shambala (for those that doen't know or haven't seen the movie yet).Thank you, enjoy and review!

Characters:  
Edward Elric 20  
Rose Thomas 19  
Noah Roma 19  
Alphonse Elric 17  
Winry Rockbell 18  
Roy Mustang 22  
Riza Hawkeye 22

Chapter One: Home

'How did this happen?Why did it happen?'thought Edward Elric as he walked the familiar path towards the home he and his brother had burnt down many years ago,when they first began their journey.

He and his brother Alphonse Elric had tried to bring back their mother after dienig of an illness while waiting for their father to return home.But he never did.Soon after they met up with Izumi-sensei who taught them everything about alchemy.

They returned home and transmuted their mother,Trisha Elric.Al lost his body and I lost my arm and leg.But that was when our journey began.They had traveled and met many people.He had become legend in the east.They discovered new things everyday and saw many things that he would never forget.Then there were the homoculi.

There was Envy, Hohenhiem's first son.Lust,the lover of Scar's elder brother who did in the war of Isbal.Gluttony,never left Lust's side.Wrath,Izumi's died child who she tried to bring back.Pride or the Furher.Greed,imprisoned by his creater Dante,Hohenhiem's lover from the past.And Sloth,who greatly resembled their mother.Killing her was the hardest thing he had ever done.She had the face and memories of Trisha but she was died.Sloth was different although she kept some of her motherly instincts and adopted Wrath.

After his fight with Sloth,he went into the old abandoned city beneath Central.There Dante was playing to take over Rose's body.She had Gluttony's memory of Lust erased and eat away Al's armor.Meanwhile I fought with Envy.That bastard killed Hughes and later me.My death caused Rose to brake the spell Dante had put her in.And Al tried to bring me back.

I woke to see Rose leaning over me.I told her to return to the surface and to take Wrath with her.I wanted to bring my brother back and it worked but at a price.I went to the other side of the gate and Al lost his memory of the four years we spent searching for the Philosphere's Stone.

I awoke in Germany,met up with Alphonse Hiederich,who greatly resembled my brother,Hughes and Gracia and Noah.Noah was a gyspy sold by her own people.She was running away from those she was sold to and I saved her.Why I do not know.Odd habit I guess.But Noah had a strange power.With just one touch she would see glimpes of one's memory.I would never understand how she was able to take so many insults from the Germans.I respected her for that and I guess that was when I began to fall in love with her.

We left Germany and moved to the outskirts where we found a small house and lived together.It was hard for the both of us for a couple of weeks.We still mourned for Alphonses' death.He died trying to return me back home.Where I saw Al and Winry.It was strange.I was happy to see her,but Noah's face kept popping up in my head.But I was greatly relieved when I saw Mustang again.He was alive but had lost his eye in the battle against Pride.

I later returned and that's were I saw Noah holding Alphonse's dead body.I kept thinking that the world oppisite the Gate was nothing more but a dream.So I tried real hard not to get attached to any one.But they were real and the pain and guilt I felt were real too.Alphonse told me so,that Germany was his home and no matter what I kept telling myself,that he was real too.

Two years had passed since then.Noah and I began to fall in love and eventually married.Nine wonderous months as I watched her belly grow along with the baby inside.

That was all before she died,giving birth to our baby girl.I named her Nina after Nina Tucker.It was the least I could do since I wasn't able to protect her from her own father.

I never realized how much my heart would break at the memory of my wife dieng,Nina in her arms while I held on the her hand,just like I did with my mother before she too died.

"Go home Edward,"she sofltly whispered.It was getting harder for her to breath.Her end was near, "There is nothing left to hold you here.Go and take Nina to your world.Where she would not be hated because her mother was a gypsy.Promise me that you will take g-good care of her?"

"I promise."

"I-I love you both."Those were her last words as she closed her eyes for the last time,a smile on her face as her hand loosened and fell from mine.

"I will always love you,"I cried.

It was raining on that day,sharing in my sorrow.I burned down our home and the next thing I knew I was walking the familiar path down to the Rockbell house.Nina silently asleep in my arms.I was home back where everything began but for some strange reason it nolonger felt like it.Rizenbull was nolonger my home.


	2. Chapter Two:Bittersweet Reunion

Author's Note: For those that are wondering, no this will not be an EdxWinry fic but an EdxRose.Like I said before,I don't like Winry all that much.It's either Rose or Noah.Also I'm sorry if some names are mispelled.Thank you and enjoy.

Chapter Two: Bittersweet Reunion

It's been three years since I passed through the Gate. Three years living in Germany studying rockets with Alphonse Hiedrich.Three years with Noah and now I'm home. How it happened I will never know. One minute I was standing before the house Noah and I have lived in for two years, our new born child in my arms and the next I woke up here, on the path leading to the Rockbell house.

So many times I had wanted to come back but know I feel as if I don't belong here anymore. I was born here but Nina was not yet she was still part of both worlds.

With golden hair and brown eyes (her mothers), Nina was the most beautiful and wonderful thing that has ever happened to him since his mother's death.

"Here we are," I whispered to the sleeping child in my arms. I stood before the doors of the Rockbell Automail Shop the place where Al and I performed alchemy for the first time. "We might as well knock."

Raising his gloved hand, he knocked three times before the door opened to reveal a blonde female.

"Winry," I murmured.

I could not believe my eyes.Standing before me was Ed with a baby in his arms.He was taller than the last time I saw him and more handsome too but...I could tell that this was not the boy I fell in love with all those years ago.His golden eyes showed sadness and pain.

"Welcome home Ed," I said into his ear,as I hugged him,being careful not to wake or squish the baby.I expected for him to return the hug and say "Good to be home!" then smile that famous smile of his, but he did nothing.Pulling away I look down at the baby in his arms.

"She's beautiful.Do you mind if I hold her?" I asked.Ed just nodded his head and handed the baby to me.

"What's her name?"I asked hoping that he would answer me this time.

"Nina," was his only reply.

"Nina.That's a pretty name.Why don't you come inside and rest.I'll look after Nina for you if you like," I said with a smile.

"Thank you," and with that Ed walked up the stairs and into the house,Winry not far behind.She heard him shut the door to the room he always used when he came home.

There were so many questions running through my head most about the baby in my arms.Was Nina Ed's daughter?Who's the mother?What happened that caused Ed so much pain?They were all questions that would have to wait.But seeing Ed in that state with so much sadness in his eyes,I doubt he will even answer them.

"What's happened to you Ed?"I asked looking at the door where he certainly slept.


	3. Chapter Three:Rose

Chapter Three: Rose

I will never forget the day Edward came out of his room. The look in his eyes was unbearable, for it seemed that he was looking past me.

It started out as any normal day would.Winry had asked me to come to Rizenbull to help her take care of Nina. But that was a week ago.

Edward only came out of his room to eat and spend time with his daughter. At night he would take Nina to his room, were she slept in her crib that Ed had transmuted together. All of this transpired without words. Winry would try to ask question and when she did, he never respond.

Once when I was walking past his room, I heard him talking either to himself or Nina.

"I'm sorry," he said sadly. There was so much sorrow and regret in his once cheerful voice. His smile was gone along with all his funny remarks about being short just because he did not drink milk.

I had yet to see Ed myself and I was somewhat relieved. From what I've heard from Winry, it has painful to see him this way. I did not want to believe until now.

Winry had gone to Central to find Al and Mustang and tell them that Ed was back. So I was left to look after Nina, cleaning, and cooking.

I was sitting with Nina feeding her, when Ed came out and stopped short in his tracks when he saw me. His eyes were wide; staring right passed me it seemed. I felt as if he wasn't looking at me but at someone else. My thoughts were confirmed when I heard him speak.

"Noah."

"Ed are you all right?" I asked as I moved closer to him, Nina now asleep in my arms. 'Please dear God! Let him speak to me.'

"Yeah I'm fine, Rose,"he responded. His eyes were now closed and his face held a small smile.

"You called me Noah. Who is she?" I questioned, handing Nina to him. Ed was now taller than both Winry and I.

"Noah is Nina's mother and my…" he paused, his eyes had lost the small gleam of happiness that was there no more than a minute ago. "Noah was my wife. She died giving birth to Nina."

"I'm sorry. Did she ever see her? Nina I mean. Did she ever see Nina?" I asked softly.

"Yeah she did. I will never forget her smile when she first saw Nina, it was so full of life, you wouldn't know she was dieing. But I like to believe she felt no pain when she smiled at us. I miss her so much."

"I'm really sorry Ed. I know how it feels to lose someone you love so much, but in time, in the pain will be less."

"I can sometimes smell her perfume. You know, you reminder of her."

"I do?"

"When I came out and saw you feeding Nina by the window, I didn't see you but I saw her feeding Nina."

"I see….do you have a picture of her?"

"No."

It's been a week since we talked and Edward came out of his room more often to speak to me and help with Nina during the day.

Winry was still in Central but had called to see how we were doing. She was pretty surprised (more shocked than surprised really) when I told her about my conversation with Ed.

"He has a wife?!" she asked-yelled-into the phone.

"He had a wife. She died soon after giving birth to Nina," I responded softly. Ed had taken Nina out for a walk early that day. "Now we know why he came back."

"Yeah but it's kind of disappointing to know that he fell in love and married someone else. Not to mention had a child… I always believed that Ed and I were meant to be together…" she cried, "what was her name?"

"Noah."

"Noah," she repeated.

"He really loved her Winry. Now the only thing Ed has left to remember her by is Nina and his memory," I explained softly. I cared for Ed and at some point I fell in love with him, just like Winry. But I knew that his heart was hers and that they would eventually be together. "Have you told Al and Mustang?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah, they're on their way there as we speak. I decided to stay a little while and visit some people."

"Alright. I'll tell Ed when he comes back."

"Thanks Rose."

"Your welcome, Winry."

That night I told Ed that Al and Mustang were on their way here to see him.

"I see," he said as he feed Nina.

"Are you angry?" I asked.

"Not really," he replied. The room fell silent. I was debating with myself whether or not I should tell Ed about the whole conversation with Winry.

"I told Winry about Noah," I guilty confessed. I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes and see the anger there.

"I see,"was all he said,as he took Nina in his arms and began walking towards his room.

"I'm sorry if I made you angry.I should of asked first if it was alright to tell her anything."

"Yes you should have," and with that,he opened the door and walked in slamming it shout.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the door,silent tears falling from my eyes and on to the table.


	4. Chapter Four:Noah

Chapter Four: Noah

_"Edward? Why don't you come with us?"_

I can't.

I've tried, God knows I've tried so hard to go with you but there is something keeping me here.

_"She has your eyes, Ed."_

My eyes…Nina!

Is she the reason I'm here?

_"Yes…"_

But I…I don't want to be here…I want to be with you…

_"I'm sorry…"_

No…I'm sorry…sorry for letting you die!

I couldn't save you! I couldn't stop you from dieing!

_"It is not your fault, all that matters is that you came back…came back to me."_

Back to you…

_"When will you let yourself forgive?"_

I can't!

I can't forgive myself for letting you die, for not protecting you when I once promised I would!

_"Do you cry for me, Edward? Do you love me or was I only a substitute for someone else?"_

Is that what you think? That I never loved you?

I did, I still do love you! I sleep with tears in my eyes as I dream of you and our life together. You were never a substitute for anyone…you…you are the first woman I have ever loved, can't you see that!

_"And that woman? The woman you call out to in your dreams?"_

Winry?

It's true that I once cared for her, more than a friend should,yet...I was never in love with her.

I can't take this anymore!

Everyday I live with the fact that you're gone. Isn't enough that my heart suffers and cries for you! Oh, my dear wife Noah! When will we be together again? I can feel your arms holding me close to you. I can feel your tears as they fall and hit my face.

_"Soon my love,soon. I promise..."_

Soon?

What can I do? To make time go faster in order to see you again?

_"Love. You must let your heart love again. Promise me?"_

How can I love any one else?

_"You can, Edward, you just have to let yourself love."_

But...

_"Our daugther needs you. I won't be there to help her when the time comes, and neither will you, if you continue this way. Don't you see that you are not only hurting yourself, your are hurting Nina and everyone around you. Your brother, Mustang, Winry, and that woman Rose. You promised me that you would be there for Nina, promise me that you'll try, Ed. You try to love again...please?"_

It'll be hard.

I promise. I'll be there for Nina. I will try to love another until the day you and I are together again. I promise you.

_"Thank you."_

Noah?

Knock Knock

"Ed? Breakfast is ready?"

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Sorry it took me a long long time to update but here you are chapter four. If anyone is confused just say so and I'll try to explain. Thank you and enjoy!


	5. Chapter Five:Author's Notes

Authors Notes: Okay to clear up the last chapter and the others before that. This is an Ed and Rose fanfiction! No even though it is mention Winry and Edward! Mention Edward and Noah throughout the story but this is and will be an Edward and Rose.

Secondly, Alphonse never followed Ed back to Germany. But everything is still the same. Ed went back, the other Al died in Noah's arms, Noah and Ed go live in the country where they later get married and have a child, Nina.

Noah dies shortly after child birth and in the last chapter, Ed is dreaming about Noah, about her finally words and then it goes to a conversation. It ends when Rose knocks on the door saying: "Ed? Breakfast is ready."

Thank you for reading and I'll try to update as soon as possible.

Thank you,  
BloodyIris16


	6. Chapter Six: To Love Again

Chapter Six: To Love Again

It's been two months since Ed came home with his daughter, Nina, and in those two months, Ed has began to come out of his shell, out of the sadness and pain that consumed his heart. The kind smile that once touched everyone's hearts returned, as well as the warmth and love in his eyes, the happiness, yet that was only during the day. Once the sun set, and the moon began to rise, he would sit on his bed, looking down at Nina, and cried as he watched her and remembered his wife, Noah.

At night, time seemed to freeze for him, and try as she might, Rose could not get it to move forward once again. It pained her to hear the sadness in Ed's voice as he told the story of how he and Noah met, became friends, and eventually fall in love and marry, and of how they spent there finally moments together, just before she died, a day after Nina was born.

Flashback

"I'm sorry Mister Elric, but your wife's heart was to weak, she will die," explained the doctor sadly. I could not believe his ears, nor the doctors words. "Mister Elric?"

"I'm sorry," I replied, as I looked towards Noah, sleeping peacefully with their daughter, Nina, in her arms. Even now, as I was looking at them both, somehow I, knew that, that I would never forget how beautiful and happy Noah looked was she held Nina in her pale and fragile arms.

A tear slipped passed my eyes, "How long does she have?" I asked the doctor, not looking away, afraid that if I did, she would disappear before my very eyes.

"Normally, with a heart as weak as hers, they would of died soon after the baby was born, yet she has a strong will to live. I give her a day or two at the most."

"Thank you, Doctor, for everything," I thanked the doctor, turning just for a moment to look at him. The doctor just nodde and said that he was sorry one last time, before he turned and left, leaving me alone. Alone to cry my pain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Edward..." a soft voice called out into the darkness of the night.

"I'm here, Noah," I whispered as he took her hand. After the doctor had left, and after I had shed my tears, I brought a chair near the bed Noah and I shared, and just watched her as she slept peacefully. Her long brown hair framing her beautiful face like a halo.

Earlier on, I moved Nina into her crip, so that Noah was free to move around in her sleep, yet she didn't. She only moved once and that was so she could get comfortable.

"Where's the baby?" she asked, her brown eyes searching his face. Ed smiled.

"She's sleeping in her crip," I answered sadly.

"What did you name her?"

"Nina."

"Nina...that's a beautiful name."

"Yeah, do you remember that little girl I told you about, I named her after her, if that's okay."

"Yes, for both."

Silence filled the room. Noah closed her eyes in pain, yet she still smiled, a sad smile.

"I want to see the stars, Edward, can you take me to see them?" she asked, her voice in a soft whisper. I just sat there, my eyes searching her own.

"Yeah, I'll take you," I replied after a while.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After grapping my jacket from the closet, I helped Noah sit up, wrapping my jacket around her shoulders and lifted her up from the bed and carried her to a small hill, not far from the house, but far enough to see the stars.

We sat in silence, it wasn't awkard silence, but a comfortable silence. My legs were spread apart and bent with Noah inbetween them and in my arms, her head resting on my shoulder, as she looked as the stars and at the full moon. After a while, her soft voice broke the silence.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?"

I didn't answer right away, I couldn't. More tears began to fall from my eyes and down my cheeks, and disappear in her brown locks. I tighted my hold on her, as I buried my face in her neck. Her hand came up to and held the back of my head and cried silent tears, while my tears were loud and I shook with each sob.

We stayed like that, neither of us wanting to break apart or speak, in fear of breaking this moment, the last moment together before everything came crashing down.

"I'm not of afraid to die," she said after a while, " I have no reason to be. I've lived a happy and wonderful life by your side. Each day filled with love and compassion and kindness. Each new gift, new flower, new surprise, you gave to me brought joy into my heart, for I knew that you loved me with all of your heart."

I stayed silent as she continued.

"No matter what happens, I will always love you and I will always be watching over you and Nina from the skies above, just like the stars and the moon watch over us when we dream, I will be watching...I promise you that I will never leave your side."

"How can you promise such a thing, when your body won't be here, in my arms to hold and never let go?"

"Oh, my darling Edward, my body won't be here, but my heart, my love for you and my memory will live on inside your own heart. I want to live my final moments in happiness, with you and Nina, by my side. I want to be held in your arms, enjoying the silence, or as you make love to me one final time. I want...I want to see your loving smile in the morning, with you beside me. That is what I want more than anything in the world right now...will you grant me my wish, my darling Edward?" she asked, stroking my arm, for surpport, for comfort.

I kissed her neck, before raising my head and putting my chin above hers.

"Yes," I whispered silently, more tears falling from my eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I made love to her many times that night, held her in my arms, woke up to see her smiling at me, as I returned her smile and made love to her once more.

I walked through the door that led to our bedroom, breakfast and flowers in hand, to see her feeding Nina.

"Thank you for the flowers. There lovely, " she thanked me, as we sat on the bed in the same position as last night, when we were looking at the stars. "Thank you for everything, not just for today and last night, but for the last two years, for saving me from those soldiers, for allowing me to live with you and Alphonse, for returning, for loving me and for giving me so much happiness each and every day. I want you to promise me something?"

"Anything."

"When I die, I want you to take Nina to your world, and fill her life with love and happiness. Where she will not be hated because her mother was a gyspy..."

"Noah," I said, trying to interrupt her.

"No, let me finish please..." she pledded, her voice filled with tears, as real tears began to fall from both my eyes and hers. I closed my mouth and waited for her to continue, watching as she moved her small, fragile hand over mine.

"I want you to promise me that you will not cry for me and that you will find someone else to love and that you will love them, the same way you loved me. I want you to love someone that will stand by your side, someone who will love Nina as if she was her own daughter. But most of all I want you to promise me that you will be happy, even if I'm not there physically. Please?"

"I promise," even as I said those words, I knew that I would never fullfill them. That I would never be able to love another the same will that I loved her. But I will make Nina happy, and I will take care of her. But love someone else, never. Yet as I spoke those two little words, I knew that both her heart and mind were at ease.

"Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She died that night, holding my hand, as my other arm held our daughter.

She stroked Nina's face and hair one last time, before her hand moved to hold my cheek and wipe away my tears with her thumb, and as I leaned my face into her palm, she smiled one last time, before her hand fell down onto the mattress, and that was when I knew, that she was gone and soon after her eyes closed, did the rain begin to fall, sharing in my sorrow.

"I love you," I whispered into the dark night.

End Flashback

Soon after he told us his story, he walked into his room and remained there all through out the night and the day after.

"Will his heart be able to love again?" Rose asked, her brown eyes turning to look out towards the moon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sorry it took me long time to update, is just that I didn't know what to write for this chapter until recently. Again I'm so sorry and I hope you like this chapter.


	7. Chapter Seven: Winry's Jealousy

Chapter Seven: Winry's Jealousy

It is not fair! None of it is!

I was the one who always waited for Ed to return home. I was the one who worried when he and Al were off doing something stupid and dangerous and I was the one who shared a childhood with them and I was the one who loved him with all my heart, and for a time, I thought he loved me too.

So then how did he every fall in love with someone else? And have a child with her too? Don't get me wrong, Nina is a beautiful and wonderful girl, who is growing bigger, everyday and she's very curious for a two month old baby. But it is not her that I am jealousy of, no it is her mother's memory.

It pained me to hear Ed talk about Noah in such a loving way. His eyes would glaze over with sadness and pain as he told us how they spend their final moments together. His face would go into a smirk as he recalled how he saved her using some kind of rocket thing. I could see the love he held for he whenever he looked at Nina.

That is when I realized, that he never loved me the way he did Noah and he never will. And that is why I am jealous and hurt at Noah's memory, of her love, and of her hold on Edward's heart.

Even if Ed would recover from his sadness and pain, no one would compare with Noah's love and no one will ever possess his heart like she did.

And then there is Rose.

Rose was also saved by Ed not once but twice and I can tell that she means a lot to him. Back when I first met her in Central when she was caring Al, Wrath, and her baby, and told me what happened. Ed dancing with her, Ed dieing, Al bringing him back, and then Ed asking her to take Wrath and Al back to the surface, and how he transmuted himself to save Al, and then how he just vanished.

I am angry that she is the one who is opening Ed's heart, making him smile, laugh and helping taking care of Nina.

A few days after Ed returned, I overheard him telling Rose that she reminded him of Noah and that had hurt me more than anything.

For if Ed ever let his heart love again and the memory of Noah is less painful, I know that he will turn to Rose and that he will begin to love her, just as Noah wanted and that I was further away from Ed's heart.

Yes he loved me as a friend, even as a sister, but never as a lover.


	8. Chapter Eight: Author's Note

Authors Note: Hello!

I know this is weird but I need ideas of how to do the next chapter because I will be going into the main story now where Ed begins to fall in love with Rose and all that stuff but I don't know how to start it or how to call the next chapter…

So I would really appreciate if you could give me ideas or opinions or anything of how I should do this.

Thank you and Bye Bye XD


	9. Chapter Nine: Moment

Note: I'm so sorry. I have been busy with many things and I haven't had time to continue however it is now Christmas break and I can continue and please forgive me and thank you for the wonderful ideas and inspiration for this next chapter. Again I'm sorry and enjoy.

Chapter Nine: Moment

I cannot even remember how long its been since Noah's death and my return home. My daughter, Nina, has grown somewhat, looking more like her mother each day, with her slightly colored skin, light brown hair and golden eyes like my own.

I guess I've grown too in a way. Not physcially, but both mentally and emotionally.

I once thought that Winry was the woman I loved, I mean after all, we grew up together. Then I met Rose, and for a while, I think I had a small crush on her, but Noah...Noah was different than both Winry and Rose. She loved life, even when life was cruel to her. Feared and hated just because she was a gyspy. But the moment I saw her in the back of that truck, I was attracted to her. She was beautiful, I admit that, but she was also kind, and she was strong in her own way.

_"Roma, it is our word for human."_

It's been hard, living with that memory. The memory of her and our time together no matter how short it was. I cherished every moment with her and I have no regrets. She lives on inside my heart, but that is not enough.

How I wish I could turn back time.

How I wish I could have done something to save her from death.

But no matter how much I wish to, I cannot turn back time.

_"All one can do is move forward. Live and cherish every moment of life and never regret or hate those moments."_

I love her, and that will never change.

I will keep my promise to her, and I will live my life in happiness with Nina and however hard it may be, I will find and love another but she will never take your place Noah, no one can, but, you already now that, don't you?

Nina.

One day, I will tell you about your mother, about how beautiful and kind she was and how much she loved you and me. I will tell you how much she loved life and although I don't have a picture for you, I will go and find an artist, and he or she will paint the most beautiful portrait of her for you and for me, to cherish for all of time.

"We'll be fine, won't we Nina?" I ask.

_:"These are my final words, my final thoughts, and my final moments, may they live to tell my tale. My dear daughter Nina, grow and remain by your father's side, for my death will not be easy on him, and I know it will be hard for him to keep his promise to me to love another however I know he will do so. For his heart deserves happiness more than any other. I know of his past and of his hardships, of his tears and his smiles, and you may dear, will bring him many joys and though my body dies, my soul and my love for him will live on. I shall watch over you till the day you come and join me here in heaven._

_Good bye, my dearest love, Edward, I leave this journel with you so that you may one day go back and remember the life we lived when you have reached the end of your days."_


	10. Chapter Ten: Noah's Heart

Chapter Ten: Noah's Heart

I'm not certain, what exactly drew me to him more or less attracted me. Perhaps it was his golden hair, golden blonde like the sun or perhaps it was his matching eyes that shined with such innocence.

Or perhaps it was his memories, his memories of a place filled with green fields and beautiful sunsets.

"_You're just like me. You have no home." _

Those words were the first of many. Those words began it all.

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I saw him later that day when I run away from those soldiers that bought me, and hid beneath a canvas.

"_Save me, please!" _I cried to him, and he did. He asked me where I lived as we ran. _"I told you, I have no home."_

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"_Winry."_

That name. One he calls out every night it seems. Perhaps she is his love, the one that holds his heart, like he holds mine.

I felt like crying, so I slowly crept out the door, closing it quietly before me. Once closed, I let my tears fall, silently.

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He's gone.

I felt my heart break even more, when he took of in that rocket and turned away when I cried out to him.

Moving back down, I see blood.

Alfonse. Shot. Dead.

I held him in my arms and prayed.

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"_You came back?"_

Putting Alfonses' body down, I walked over to him. I wanted to run to him, run and embrace him and take the sad look away from his eyes, take away the hurt that clouds his heart.

A few days later we held a memorial service in memory of Alfonse.

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We moved out into the country.

He said it somewhat resembled his home town. There we lived, there we grew to love each other and soon married.

I was so happy when I learned of my pregnancy and could not wait to tell Edward of this news.

He was overjoyed.

He laughed his laugh.

He smiled his smile.

And he loved me with all his heart.

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I was dying.

That much I knew soon after I gave birth to our child.

Our daughter.

Nina.

My final moments with Ed were wonderful and my heart broke even more as his eyes were filled with sadness and tears.

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I've hidden my journal in his jacket.

Let him read my words and see my memories.

Let him hold my heart.

For it is his.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Promise

Chapter Eleven: Promise

"Ed?" asked Rose as she saw him walk out his bedroom door. Turning, he smiled and began walking over to me.

"Morning Rose, did you sleep well?" he asked kindly.

"Yes, I did," I replied with a smile.

"That's good. Listen, um I was...I was wondering if you would like to join me in a walk?" he asked so shyly, a small blush upon his cheeks. This caused me to laugh a little.

"Yes, I would love to."

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Never before had she seen such a beautiful site. The sun was barely setting giving the green fields a lovely view.

"Ed...this is so beautiful," I whispered, amazed.

"Yes it is," he whispered back not looking at the sunset but at me. I turned away from his gaze, trying to hide my growing blush.

"Rose, I...um...well...I..." he stammered, uncertain about what he wants to say, his blush growing all the more.

Silencing him with my finger on his lips, I leaned forward replacing my finger with my lips.

Moving his lips upon mine, it was pure bliss. How I longed to feel his lips on mine, my body pressed against him, my fingers running through his hair.

But it was too short. Realizing what he was doing, he moved away, breaking the kiss. His eyes showed confusion and struggle.

"Rose, I'm sorry," and with those words he left, leaving me alone.

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"What have I done?" I asked myself as I entered my room closing the door behind me. "I just kissed Rose!"

Sitting down, I grabbed Noah's journal and began to read it to Nina as she began to sleep.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Brothers

Chapter 12: Brothers

A few days after the incident with Rose, Alphonse returned to Risembull. Seeing that this would be a perfect chance to speak with his brother privately, he asked Ed if he would like to go back to their old house.

Everything was the same as the day they left it.

Burnt.

Years ago, they lived here with their mother, Trisha Elric. Soon after Al was born, their father left them and their mother to die of a broken heart.

Though she didn't die from that only, for she contracted a disease that she ignored.

So in an effort to bring their mother back, they studied alchemy and tried to transmute materials to bring her back.

And failed.

Al lost his body, while Ed lost his left leg and right arm, binding his brother's soul to a suit of armor.

Soon after they burned down there house and left for Central to become State Alchemists. And that's where their journey began.

"I kissed rose," murmured Ed, bring Al back from his memories. Taking a second to realize what he said.

"You kissed Rose?"

"Actually she kissed me," corrected Ed, "But my mind was so confused. Every time I see Rose, I see Noah, so when she kissed…"

"You were kissing Noah," finished Al.

"Yes."

"You really loved her didn't you, brother?"

"Yes."

"More than Winry?"

For a few seconds, Ed remained silent, uncertain of what to say.

"I never loved Winry," he finally whispered.

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I am so sorry it is so short. I just forgot how I was going to write this chapter since it's been awhile. I'm sorry I haven't updated as often as I should but now that it is summer maybe I'll be able to finish it. Thank you so much and I promise I will make the other one longer and not leave it at a cliffhanger!


	13. Chapter Thirteen: To Love Again

Chapter Thirteen: To Love Again

"I never loved Winry."

That was the truth. At one point, I thought I did but looking back now, I know the difference. I loved Winry, yes, not in the way I loved Noah. No, I loved Winry like a sister, a friend and I know it hurts her to know that I will never be with her the way she wants me to be.

Rose.

The first time I saw her back in Liore, I knew I was attracted to her. Hell even had a small crush, but I never acted on it since our time there was only temporary. I only wanted the Stone.

The second time I saw her, I didn't feel any feelings of attraction more like guilt. It was my fault that the military came. It was my fault that she became mute and with a baby. How I wanted Scar to kill me then and there and take away my guilt. It's the least I deserved.

But then she saved me.

She should have every reason to hate me. But, when Sloth and Wrath appeared, and I was stunned by Sloth's resemblance to my mother, that I didn't even notice Wrath. Not until she screamed.

"_Get up, Ed…get up…and move forward! Ah!"_

The third, she was dancing. And I couldn't help but watch her. She was beautiful in that white dress and then, she told me she loved me.

And judging from what happened yesterday, she still does. But the question is, do I love her too?

She looks so much like Noah but she isn't Noah. They're two completely different people and I don't want Rose to feel as if she is replacing my late wife, because no one can. But I don't want her to. I want her to be herself. I want her to be Rose.

"Ed?"

And speaking of Rose.

There she was, with Nina in her arms. Walking up to her, I took my daughter, and placed her in her crib in my room and walked back out to Rose. She started to open her mouth to speak but before she could say anything, I kissed.

I will always love Noah. After all, she is the mother of my child and she was my first wife and that will never change. And though I know that I can never love Rose the way I loved her, I can start with this one kiss.

"I made a promise to Noah," I said to Rose, after releasing her lips, but keeping mine a centimeter from hers, causing our breaths to mingle, "promised her that I would try to love again. So I'm asking you Rose, can you help me?"

"With what?" she shyly asked, not moving away but looking up at me with those brown eyes of hers.

"Help me to love again?"

Tears began to form in the corner of her eyes and a smile appeared on her face as she reached up and took my hand.

"Yes, Edward, I'll help you. I'll help you love again because…because I love you."

And with those words, I kissed her again and again.

Hey everyone

Sorry it took me so long to update and finish this story. I know that it is sudden but please let me know what you think.

BloodyIris16


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